dreams like this roll in like a cold front

You know what sucks sometimes? Doing that thing that needs to be done. The healthy thing, the smart thing, the prudent thing, the self-preservation thing. But once something has been illuminated I can't go back into the dark. I can't. Not after all the progress I have made.

It sucks. Being healthy is fucking hard. But what the fuck else am I to do?

There's nothing, really. It's either do the hard stuff, or be a zombie, asleep, dying. Fuck that. I've done that. I'm finished with it.

I want to be alive. I want to be happy. I am alive. I am happy. I want to stay that way. I mean, I'm not happy 100% of the time, but generally speaking, I am very happy, and I love my life very much, which is why I have to protect it.