save it for your ivillage blog, lemon

Today is the last day of 2008. It doesn't really feel that big or important this year because I'm in that place where everything is kind of normal and even and steady and non-dramatic and maybe even boring (in a good way). I got the tumult over with a few months ago.

I did the death/rebirth thing already this year. I feel kind of like I am coasting right now. I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing. I don't think I am stagnating. Krystal says I am not stagnating.

Things just are, and I am just doing. I don't know how else to say it.

And, I mean, maybe parts of me are hibernating, but only because they need to be. Specifically, in this case, the hibernating parts are my artistic self and my romantic (I don't know if that's exactly the right word, but I'm just going to roll with it) self. Both of these selves are still really hurt and scared and have cocooned, I guess. How does one go about coaxing them back into the sunlight?

The art part is most troubling to me because the whole school-falling-through thing happened two and a half years ago. I have to figure out how to heal that wound, and it is significant. I still feel it. It's like a death. I guess of part of myself. And my job is to Lazarus it.

So that's fun. I'll figure it out, though. It's what I do.

Merry New Year's to the two people who read this blog.