slow down, you crazy child

I had a dream about neglecting animals last night. And by that I mean I had a dream about all the ways in which I neglect myself, and about that overwhelming feeling you have when the Jenga game of your life becomes ridiculously precarious. The dream is about the fact that I have been procrastinating buying new clothes for months. It is also about the three classes I am enrolled in for next semester. It is about the fucking stupid holidays and my guilt about being too broke to buy presents. It is about the interview I have at Borders today. (I fucking hate interviews.) It is about letting those damned students walk all over me at work.

I can't please everyone. I can't fix everything. So maybe I should just focus on pleasing and fixing myself and everyone else can just fuck off.

Non sequitir: They are painting the closest bathroom at work so I have to use the "crying bathroom" (the onsie bathroom I would always go cry about Liz in). So that's fun. Fond memories.

Anyway. I had a proud moment this morning because I was telling my sister about my weird dream and she said, "Animals represent primal emotions, and everyone in your dream is just different aspects of yourself." She is so smart. I love her more than anything, ever.

Andrea is the only person who truly understands how awful my dad is. And how completely clueless he is. He doesn't know or understand either of us at all, and he never will. And that sucks, but oh, well. I don't need him. I have plenty of love and support without him. My cup runneth over with love and support, which is an amazing thing.

So, chin up, buttercup, fight that seasonal depression, and no crying at work.