best patriotic t-shirt, ever

I had to share this t-shirt because it is just too funny. Here is some of the copy:

"The New America Symbol has a familiar shape and fifty stars that represent the 50 wealthiest people in America. There are five stripes that represent the number of points on each star. Notice the Freedom Eagle's American teardrop -- he is either extremely angry or extremely proud. This is a type of Extreme Pride that says 'I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about, foreigner, but I'm better than you. My country invented Batman.' "

Ha. Hilarious.

Here is another t-shirt that I would totally buy if I didn't think it would get me face-punched:

But this is Oklahoma, and I value my life enough to not test the redneck waters. For now, anyway. Also, they're out of my size, so maybe that's why I'm not buying it.