with all the righteous rage, and all the bitter spite

I'm too angry. It's just the hormones. This is normal. It happens every month.

I still hate it, though.

I hope Krystal is ok.

I think I will go to bed early tonight. Maybe cry a little. I feel like I need to, like it's been building up. All the times in the past six months when I thought I was going to cry or wanted to cry I haven't really, but maybe finally there is enough, now, for me to cry about all the things I need to cry about. All those things that shouldn't be but are. All the frustrating bullshit. All the things in the world I can't fix because I'm just Natalie. Everything that is unfair and injust. All the things my friends have to deal with that I can't spare them from because that's just not the way life works.

I'd like to cry about that tonight, please. And I think then I'll be ok tomorrow.